Tony Schlang
Anthony Benito Schlang (born August 5, 1973) is an American politician and entertainer who most recently served as the 50th Secretary of the Interior under Albert Winston. Schlang was the 3rd place finisher in the 2008 Democratic Primaries and carried the state of Nevada is said contest. He was briefly a political correspondent for MSNBC and was married to former Las Vegas Mayor Cynthia O'Hare. Schlang is currently running for the Governorship of his home state of New Jersey in the Democratic Primary, against Mayor Joh Stansky. Short Bio: Tony Schlang was born in 1973 to rising stockbroker(and eventual yuppie) Donny Schlang. He was raised by his mother, a former Italian actress, in the NYC suburbs of North Jersey. There, he attended private school, where he failed miserably both grade wise and socially. He was a total disappointment to his high strung father, which set him on his life's course, as in a way, he has always remained a hormonal self loathing adolescent. After graduating highschool, Tony attended Syracuse University, where he studied business. He just barely graduated, too girl crazy and wrapped up in the party scene to pay any real mind to his studies. After graduating, he attended Rutgers Law School, where he got in due to his father's hefty donations. Upon earning his law degree, Tony became a small time defense lawyer in Jersey City. He discovered he in fact had a knack for law, despite his poor collegiate performance. He was able to successfully defend many alleged criminals and secure deals or get them off Scott free, usually using loopholes and law bending. There are also rumors of bribery, but those are as real as the four rape allegations from his time in Jersey City. :p In 2002, Tony ran for Mayor of Jersey City, sliding in like the nimble navigator he is, and winning the Democratic Party's nomination. He won by a landslide in the largely Democratic city, despite the surfacing of rape allegations, and his skipping of a mayoral debate. The D next to his name won him the race. As mayor, Tony had a very mediocre performance. He did practically nothing, except revamp a couple of parks, and open some new homeless shelters. But he became popular, when he opened a new hospital using a state grant, that cut unemployment and provided much needed healthcare to the city. Before his term was up as Mayor, Tony ran for his district's congressional seat, in 2004. He timed his hospital plan perfectly, to surge his popularity right when his candidacy was announced, allowing him to zoom ahead in the primaries and beat his opponent(not hard in that district), by a wide margin. He served one term, and did nothing noteworthy in the house, just typical, run of the mill Democratic party stuff. He did, however, sponsor a few bills, and even write the Schlang's Bill, which had the intention of decriminalizing marijuana nationally. He also co-authored the Schlang-Martinez Act, which was a minor infrastructure inspection and restoration plan. After his one term in the House, Schlang decided to run for senate, in 2006. He was decimated in the primary, blasted for lack of experience, and his multiple rape allegations. Without a job, he slipped into a minor depression, as his rich father had just begun to take an interest in him, he backed off once more. But it wasn't too late for old Schlang! He did make it back to Washington. MSNBC offered him a position as a special political correspondent, a job he readily accepted. For a year he held the position, wherein he met his wife, Cynthia O'Hay, a member of the DNC and former mayor of Las Vegas. They had a brief, if not passionate romance, before becoming estranged when he was caught having an affair with her sister. He did well at MSNBC, and was to receive his own day time show, The Schlang Zone, until the concept was dumped due to cutbacks. Crushed yet again, Schlang was desperate. And what does a desperate man who is down on his luck do? Run for president. In late 2007, Tony Schlang announced his candidacy for the Democratic nomination. He did ok at first, coming in second place in some polls. He brought youthful charisma the party desperately desired. Until the first debate, when he was outshined by his rival, current President Winston. With all that said and done, he managed to pull off a third place landing in Iowa. Angered by his lack of success, he replaced his campaign manager with his formerly estranged father, Donny Schlang. An awful strategist, Donny had the campaign only hit Nevada, hoping the win there would get them to the top, and to final victory. So thr campaign hit Nevada very hard for 19 days, meanwhile Tony got third place in NH at 12% of the vote, and finally, Nevada came. Tony eeked out a victory, by a margin of 2 points. Winston then offered him the position of Attorney General to drop out. Full of hubris, Tony said "No, I will never lose. We will continue on, to final victory." Which meant that after coming in last in South Carolina, and coming in last in all states but Virginia in Super Tuesday, he went crawling back to Winston, who offered him "a cabinet position." Schlang then dropped out, endorsing him. He did not campaign, as after a rape allegation from the trail surfaced, he was instructed to stay as far away from the campaign as possible. In 2008, Schlang felt cheated, as he took office as Secretary of the Interior. But he held his nose and accepted, seeing it as a step to bigger and better things, like governor of NJ or even president at a later date. So he worked hard...except for when he was hardly working, which was most of the time. All he has done thus far is waffle on the Free State Compact with Micronesia, rebuild the Department of the Interior offices, and build amazing mutual understanding with the native American nations, as well as build up some great national parks. He has also successfully become friends with his new role model, Bill Rodham, and has "reappropriated" more than a bit of money to things like a private jet for the secretary of the interior, and a "second office" in the form of a vacation home. He has slid beneath the radar, but now, one of his rape allegations is becoming an actual law suit... Other Info: Has a strong New Jersey accent, considers himself to be a close friend of Bill Rodham, is notorious for his sexual escapades, has an estranged wife who is on the DNC, and his father, Donny Schlang is his own campaign manager and now Chief of Staff. Do Not Remove: 84721/quote Category:Presidential Candidate Category:Democrats Category:Mayors Category:Representative